When you tell a girl its over, you need to be content with the consequence of that.
Same with men.
People need to stop giving up those who are good to them, and for them, and not realizing it til they are gone.
Don't tell me how I am amazing, and beautiful. Don't tell me that I am like no one else you've ever met...I know I am not. If I am dating someone, I KNOW I am good to him. I know that I can make someone feel so positive and good about themselves, and feel loved and appreciated. I pay attention to detail, I like supporting my guy, and doing nice things for him. Everyday should be something to look forward to.
I have a brain in my head, good head on my shoulders, a life with a career, passion, direction, and talent. I know I am beautiful, and nauseatingly loving and caring for others. I know that I can get down and dirty and still be cute. I know that I can be sexy, but still be your best friend. I cook like a champ. Snug like a pro. Am an epic wing girl for the buds. Dance, sing, laugh the wildest. I am rare.
Everyone knows the ol' "Ya want what ya can't have" line...and it's true.
I'm at a point in my life, where if I found a wonderful guy, I'd be ready for commitment. I'd be ready for someone to treat me good, like I deserve. Someone who can appreciate me and not mind-fuck me to keep me around at his convenience.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Hospital Story # 1
I remember opening my eyes, filled with tears. Unable to move. Pain excruciating. I had just been catheterized, which makes you want to slit your wrists in its own...having a tube shoved in your bleep so that you no longer need to exert effort to urinate...sexy right...I was lifted from table to table for xrays while my hip was out of it's socket, pelvis fractured...blood covering my face and arms...I still had nightmares of the blood and my screams.
My pants had been cut off of me...and please, I don't typically wear draws so they were a no go too...my blood shirt soaked (my favorite black sweater, stretched ever so perfectly to hang off my shoulder) was cut off and discarded...
My head had been split in two spots...receiving stitches...what an awful night...
And now here I am. Unable to move...Awaiting the anesthesia so they could pop my hip back into place while I was under...
I looked up into the most handsome doctor's eyes...as tears began rolling down my cheeks...
He smiled at me...took my hand...and I will never forget what he said to me.
"Nicole, we are gonna do a rectal exam now."
Suddenly the mind numbing pain coursing through my body vaporized for a moment as I said, with the smallest mousy voice...."FROM YOU!? What, my butt? No. No. Why? No. Please."
"If you'd feel more comfortable we can have our female nurse do it."
Me: "I'd feel more comfortable if no one was doing things to my butt, but sure..."
The female nurse came over, snapped her glove on, and gave me a sympathy look...
Me: "You know this means we are going to be best friends right?" I said with the softest most depressing voice...she bursted out laughing.
Meanwhile there was no curtain covering the booty show and there were 6 other doctors awaiting my hip toss.
Me: "Hey my dude, can we close the curtain? Until I'm knocked out I have some sense of dignity...shit"
They giggled.
The nurse said take a breath and quickly went for the gold...
Me: "WRONG ENTRANCE!!!!"
Mortified that she had just tried giving me a pap test, she got a new glove, defiled my ass...and it was done.
Talk about someone remaining positive under the worst situations...I kept thinking, stay positive. Try to think good things...I mean it was hard after having my genitals mauled by an entire trauma ward...but still.
Next the curtain opened...revealing the 7 doctors around me...ready to knock me out and fix my busted hip...I remember counting over and over bc I was trying to keep my mind off the pain.
I looked at them all, and said I needed to make an announcement.
Me: "Hi everyone. I'm Nikki. I wasn't planning on almost dying tonight and having a sleepover here...and I haven't really shaved my legs in a while...and well...you have all seen my kooka now...and you there (pointing to nurse) have now done things with my butt...so I just wanna say...I am happy we are all friends now...and I'm sorry you have to touch my legs...best friends forever..."
I then looked at the doctor and said...Okay Im ready...
I woke up...still in the trauma unit...feeling like absolute death. My pillow was still saturated in blood. I could still see the images and hear the screams in my head...
Then i lifted my fingers in front of my face...and realized...none of my nails broke in my accident...sighed with relief...and passed out.
My pants had been cut off of me...and please, I don't typically wear draws so they were a no go too...my blood shirt soaked (my favorite black sweater, stretched ever so perfectly to hang off my shoulder) was cut off and discarded...
My head had been split in two spots...receiving stitches...what an awful night...
And now here I am. Unable to move...Awaiting the anesthesia so they could pop my hip back into place while I was under...
I looked up into the most handsome doctor's eyes...as tears began rolling down my cheeks...
He smiled at me...took my hand...and I will never forget what he said to me.
"Nicole, we are gonna do a rectal exam now."
Suddenly the mind numbing pain coursing through my body vaporized for a moment as I said, with the smallest mousy voice...."FROM YOU!? What, my butt? No. No. Why? No. Please."
"If you'd feel more comfortable we can have our female nurse do it."
Me: "I'd feel more comfortable if no one was doing things to my butt, but sure..."
The female nurse came over, snapped her glove on, and gave me a sympathy look...
Me: "You know this means we are going to be best friends right?" I said with the softest most depressing voice...she bursted out laughing.
Meanwhile there was no curtain covering the booty show and there were 6 other doctors awaiting my hip toss.
Me: "Hey my dude, can we close the curtain? Until I'm knocked out I have some sense of dignity...shit"
They giggled.
The nurse said take a breath and quickly went for the gold...
Me: "WRONG ENTRANCE!!!!"
Mortified that she had just tried giving me a pap test, she got a new glove, defiled my ass...and it was done.
Talk about someone remaining positive under the worst situations...I kept thinking, stay positive. Try to think good things...I mean it was hard after having my genitals mauled by an entire trauma ward...but still.
Next the curtain opened...revealing the 7 doctors around me...ready to knock me out and fix my busted hip...I remember counting over and over bc I was trying to keep my mind off the pain.
I looked at them all, and said I needed to make an announcement.
Me: "Hi everyone. I'm Nikki. I wasn't planning on almost dying tonight and having a sleepover here...and I haven't really shaved my legs in a while...and well...you have all seen my kooka now...and you there (pointing to nurse) have now done things with my butt...so I just wanna say...I am happy we are all friends now...and I'm sorry you have to touch my legs...best friends forever..."
I then looked at the doctor and said...Okay Im ready...
I woke up...still in the trauma unit...feeling like absolute death. My pillow was still saturated in blood. I could still see the images and hear the screams in my head...
Then i lifted my fingers in front of my face...and realized...none of my nails broke in my accident...sighed with relief...and passed out.
Valentines Day.
Wikipedia says
Saint Valentine's Day, commonly shortened to Valentine's Day,[1][2][3] is an annual commemoration held on February 14 celebrating love and affection between intimate companions.[1][3] The day is named after one or more early Christian martyrs named Valentineand was established by Pope Gelasius I in 500 AD. It was deleted from the Roman calendar of saints in 1969 by Pope Paul VI, but its religious observance is still permitted. It is traditionally a day on which lovers express their love for each other by presenting flowers, offeringconfectionery, and sending greeting cards (known as "valentines"). The day first became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished.
Modern Valentine's Day symbols include the heart-shaped outline, doves, and the figure of the winged Cupid. Since the 19th century, handwritten valentines have given way to mass-producedgreeting cards.[4]
Now, Valentine's Day, women demand jewelry, men demand blowjobs, you share a meal, and if the demands played out, ya smush like rabbits.
Oh how times have changed.
Never have I ever....Part Uno.
Please, ladies and gents, raise your glass and take a big ol' sip if the following debauchery has ensued in your lifetime.
These are real stories that have ever so graciously arose in my life...leaving me dumbfounded, angry, hysterical laughing, judgmental, disgusted....etc.
The past 8 1/2 years pretty much sum up why I always lose never have I ever........................and why I prefer not settling with a typical ass clown..
Here we go....
Never have I ever...
Had a significant other bazooka throw a vibrator at the wall during smush and yell at me, saying "you like that more than me!?!"...when it was their idear in the first place to get a little freaky deak.
wait, wait...haahhah. ahhh. still cracks me up.
Never have I ever...
Heard the words "pull em til they rip off.."
Use your imagination here kids.
Never have I ever...
Witnessed the burp-vom whilst being romantic....fucking gnar...and complete buzz kill. Ugh.
Never have I ever...
Had the words "oh my god, I'm so nervous...I haven't had a girl over in like a week" be said to me while kissing someone. FAIL FUCKING FAIL...(NY, Italian, Cop...enough said)
Never have I ever...
Dated someone who wore platform shoes...Yep. Word to the wise. You are not really 5'8" if you have special shoes made with 2 inches of height up in there...that means you are 5'6"...I'm not trying to date douchebag spice ya clown.
Never have I ever...
Dated someone who while attending the bone zone got out LUBE FROM THEIR PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP...
Now let me emphasize bc many of my best friends have dealt with this, guys and girls, and I hear the same bitter reaction from them all. There is a difference from ya typical ky in the nightstand. We are human...totally fine. Its a community bottle. Sure, why not. But, when you whip out some motion of the ocean pina colada half empty bottle of lube that you've had the 2 years you were with your ex....you're fucking disgusting...
Oh, god, you know just how to get me going...whipping out the tool you used to keep your ex's snatch tasting like a cocktail bc you couldn't keep her in the mood, and trying to douse my goods in it now too?. Ummm yeah, I'll pass.
Never have I ever...
Been cleaning my house and found an XS tank top in my clothes...I haven't been an XS since I was a toddler....Saying to my bf, "who the fuck does this belong to?" knowing its the chick he hooked up with while on a break....and him saying, "yeah its hers...we can chuck it..unless, do you want it babe?".............................................................................................................................................in what fucking universe would a girl want to KEEP the clothing of the girl who was clearly sleeping in their home and in their bed and putting her shit in their closet? ...I'd like to say I kept my cool that day...But. Think about it. It got real ghetto.
That is all for now...
I am now going to go rejoice in how wonderful my life is now....and how I am finally ready to be with someone who doesn't have the IQ of a meatball. <3
These are real stories that have ever so graciously arose in my life...leaving me dumbfounded, angry, hysterical laughing, judgmental, disgusted....etc.
The past 8 1/2 years pretty much sum up why I always lose never have I ever........................and why I prefer not settling with a typical ass clown..
Here we go....
Never have I ever...
Had a significant other bazooka throw a vibrator at the wall during smush and yell at me, saying "you like that more than me!?!"...when it was their idear in the first place to get a little freaky deak.
wait, wait...haahhah. ahhh. still cracks me up.
Never have I ever...
Heard the words "pull em til they rip off.."
Use your imagination here kids.
Never have I ever...
Witnessed the burp-vom whilst being romantic....fucking gnar...and complete buzz kill. Ugh.
Never have I ever...
Had the words "oh my god, I'm so nervous...I haven't had a girl over in like a week" be said to me while kissing someone. FAIL FUCKING FAIL...(NY, Italian, Cop...enough said)
Never have I ever...
Dated someone who wore platform shoes...Yep. Word to the wise. You are not really 5'8" if you have special shoes made with 2 inches of height up in there...that means you are 5'6"...I'm not trying to date douchebag spice ya clown.
Never have I ever...
Dated someone who while attending the bone zone got out LUBE FROM THEIR PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP...
Now let me emphasize bc many of my best friends have dealt with this, guys and girls, and I hear the same bitter reaction from them all. There is a difference from ya typical ky in the nightstand. We are human...totally fine. Its a community bottle. Sure, why not. But, when you whip out some motion of the ocean pina colada half empty bottle of lube that you've had the 2 years you were with your ex....you're fucking disgusting...
Oh, god, you know just how to get me going...whipping out the tool you used to keep your ex's snatch tasting like a cocktail bc you couldn't keep her in the mood, and trying to douse my goods in it now too?. Ummm yeah, I'll pass.
Never have I ever...
Been cleaning my house and found an XS tank top in my clothes...I haven't been an XS since I was a toddler....Saying to my bf, "who the fuck does this belong to?" knowing its the chick he hooked up with while on a break....and him saying, "yeah its hers...we can chuck it..unless, do you want it babe?".............................................................................................................................................in what fucking universe would a girl want to KEEP the clothing of the girl who was clearly sleeping in their home and in their bed and putting her shit in their closet? ...I'd like to say I kept my cool that day...But. Think about it. It got real ghetto.
That is all for now...
I am now going to go rejoice in how wonderful my life is now....and how I am finally ready to be with someone who doesn't have the IQ of a meatball. <3
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Hmph.
I spent the past 3 hours listening to the most amazing sappy love songs, indulging in rather wonderful conversation, whilst drinking lethal amounts of water, ingesting pain meds that give no relief to my bodily pain...developing a stabbing pain in my stomach from the meds...eating low fat cinnamon graham crackers (my newest addiction since the hospital...and orange sherbert..i think i clung on to the two things that made me feel better in the hospital, and unfortunately drug them into real life)..and all I can come up with is...
I'm happy.
Nothing more.
Nothing less.
3 am. insomnia. touchee
I'm happy.
Nothing more.
Nothing less.
3 am. insomnia. touchee
Monday, February 7, 2011
P.S.
Of all things to fucking fracture....
my PELVIS...and dislocate my hip!?!?!
....clearly i'll be digging into the past for stories...because I am out of commission. womppp wompppp
however.
I am the hottest 22 yr old with a walker...
:)
And the stitches on my head resemble harry potter's scar...which means I am bound to date an unfortunate closet wizard fanatic who asks me to dress up like a young suave harry potter and use a wand on his...
nevermind...
<3
my PELVIS...and dislocate my hip!?!?!
....clearly i'll be digging into the past for stories...because I am out of commission. womppp wompppp
however.
I am the hottest 22 yr old with a walker...
:)
And the stitches on my head resemble harry potter's scar...which means I am bound to date an unfortunate closet wizard fanatic who asks me to dress up like a young suave harry potter and use a wand on his...
nevermind...
<3
I am back.
Here she isssssss :)
As most of you heard I was in a rather shitty car accident...and obviously, not being able to walk...I haven't made it to my computer.
But physical therapy is going well, and I am a fighter, naturally...SO I have old bitty walker'd my ass to my computer chair...and I am back in action ladies and gents.
Honestly the support and love I got from you all when I got hurt was overwhelming...especially the emails saying you missed my writings. I can't express how grateful I am to have such important people in my life who believe in me.
Moral of the accident story...I am alive, and I am lucky. I am a trooper, and I am positive. I will get through this. I will remain smiling...and I will always actively take part in keeping my loved ones happy, whether I can physically walk OR not. <3
Thanks for everything.
Time to keep on keepin on...
Blogs to come... :) Get excited. I have plenty of gruesome hospital stories of awkward moments and Nikki Ferrone clearly making friends with every patient and staff member in the hospital.
Again...if you are a new reader...be sure to start from the beginning other wise you will simply think I hate men or spend too much time in the bone zone...and clearly...that is NOT what this site is about :)
Love you all. Missed my blog :)
I am back...better than ever
As most of you heard I was in a rather shitty car accident...and obviously, not being able to walk...I haven't made it to my computer.
But physical therapy is going well, and I am a fighter, naturally...SO I have old bitty walker'd my ass to my computer chair...and I am back in action ladies and gents.
Honestly the support and love I got from you all when I got hurt was overwhelming...especially the emails saying you missed my writings. I can't express how grateful I am to have such important people in my life who believe in me.
Moral of the accident story...I am alive, and I am lucky. I am a trooper, and I am positive. I will get through this. I will remain smiling...and I will always actively take part in keeping my loved ones happy, whether I can physically walk OR not. <3
Thanks for everything.
Time to keep on keepin on...
Blogs to come... :) Get excited. I have plenty of gruesome hospital stories of awkward moments and Nikki Ferrone clearly making friends with every patient and staff member in the hospital.
Again...if you are a new reader...be sure to start from the beginning other wise you will simply think I hate men or spend too much time in the bone zone...and clearly...that is NOT what this site is about :)
Love you all. Missed my blog :)
I am back...better than ever
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