Why is it that such attractive men with such nice bodies look on point from ankle up...and then I see the dirty sneakers. God. And a lot of cops make this mistake I've noticed. It's ugly, and all I think about whilst TRYING to oogle you, is, "Ugh, you fucking clown, you blew it...and your feet probably stink."
*I LOVE men with good taste in shoes. I am a sucker for shoes with edge. And by edge I don't mean Ostrich skin cowboys boots.
Tattoos on men that have no muscle tone. I think skinny dudes look great with sleeves, don't get me wrong. I am talking about homeboy who hasn't seen the gym in a hot minute and has a chevy symbol tat right on their upper arm, just jigglin' away. I'm sorry. It peeves me. Call me shallow. Whatever.
When men have no idear what they want in life, and look at me like I have ten heads when they ask my plans. Well, I want to manage my own MAC counter, I want to have a steady freelance business, I want people to know my work, I want people to read my blog, and eventually buy my book that I WILL publish. Fuck, and lately. I kinda would like to fall in love, and be in a nice relationship...With someone that has a head on their shoulders.(but, this idear has, um, complications as of right now...bc I am clearly a glutton for punishment)...If you don't know where you are going in life, that is fine...But I am on a different level...which causes me to be unattracted to you. Lo Siento Papi.
Men being presumptuous when it comes to sex.
I am brutally honest.
Sex is fun.
Do I want to have fun with everything that walks? No thank you.
If I am dating someone, and there is a connection there, sex is a must.
If I don't fucking know you more than a few days and you text me asking if we are going to have sex...You are OUT your damn mind fool. First of all, you don't plan sex, unless the worlds gonna end and ya wanna make sure since we are going to die together you can get extra freaky deak, and you ask...There shouldn't be a blue print of what we are going to do to each other ya fucking weirdo. You don't assume that I think you're fine enough to smush second of all, I am picky.
True story...Dude in the 609. Never met me, began emailing me, while I am in FL. At first I was friendly, he was a military dude. Nice conversation. We knew some of the same people...totally fine. Then he asked if i'd go out with him when I visited. I mean, what could sushi hurt. Then he sent me a huge edible arrangements of fruit to FL bc I said I was on a diet.......okay...very sweet. But, the night before I flew to nj...not only did he tell me I WOULD be his girlfriend...he asked me the best question I've ever heard.
"Whats your favorite type of condoms babe!? I'm at the store now"
................................................
My first response because I'm a bitch. "The kind that don't get me pregnant?"
Followed by..."Uhhhhh, not necessary."
Needless to say...I was cussed out five mins after meeting this human because I cancelled all plans and said I wasn't feeling it...and was left with a rose and a stuffed monkey and the fact that he had a huge date in atlantic city planned, with a hotel room and dinner reservations....and probably an engagement ring (direct quote from ashley)...I gave the rose to ash...gave the monkey to my nephew (a boxer/pit mix)...and had to recharge my phone bc the messages telling me he thought I was special and I blew it, drained my battery...
I am pretty sure I snugged myself that night...and while feeling lonely I thought...I will never settle for less than what I am looking for. Bc I deserve to be as happy as I know I can make someone.
This isn't the first time this has happened.
Maybe bc I am real and honest.
Because I like to make people happy in my life.
Because I don't choose to fit in to any type of stereotype...
Yet, the few men I fall for, wouldn't even begin to understand how great I would treat them...and that is simply annoying.
I also don't like halitosis.
One round of sex before bed. Go for round 2, dude.
Arrogance where it is clearly not necessary.
The word "cock"...like. Fuck, stop.
The mentioning of dates you've taken your ex girlfriend on, and how awesome they were before she cheated on you. Spare me. I could tell you the awesome dates I took MY guys on because they were usually broke, and tell you how they could pound a bottle of jager, punch a wall, yell at me, and ask me for a blow job. Yeahhh. Let's have story time about exes!! :) I love it....you fucking noob.
That's all for now.
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