This section shall be self-explanatory...These are things that have happened and have been said...All direct quotes or actions from a REAL LIFE experience...
Men and Women can relate to some of these I'm sure so I'll make them general....
(And if you read this and questions yourself "wait...was that me?"...chances are it was. Woops.
PLEASE DO NOT:
1. Please do not ask how sex is, whilst engaging in the act... (not referring to dirty talk, i.e. "you like that?")...When you are asking with an paining insecurity in your voice...its a big turn off. Get confident, watch a porno, go to therapy, I don't care, but don't bug me about if you're doing things right to the point where it becomes a fucking conversation...ridiculous.
2. Don't name your dick. Please. Just don't.
"8 inches of hate"
"Italian Stallion"
"Little guy" -- <--BAHAHAHAHA yep. True life.
"Sau-seege" (kinda funny)
3. Invite me over at an odd hour of the night and INTRODUCE me to ANYONE. I'm sorry. But if you are not my boyfriend, or someone who I could potentially spend a lot of time with I DO NOT want to meet your mom your dad your gramma your child your neighbor your best friends...I'll meet your dog if its a badass bc Im a sucker for dogs...but shit...and ESPECIALLY after 10 pm, its just poor manners. Oh, and if you live with your parents still and are trying to give the business to someone, don't bring them back home and say "we have to be quiet hehe"....SYKE....go back to sophmore year you pussies.
4. Burp WHILE making out...YEAH. Accidents happen, especially when you are drinking. Say excuse me god forbid...But if you are mid tongue wrestle and burp INTO my mouth and DONT EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE IT...then ring the bell, round over, KO, you're done, goodbye, did you eat hotdogs? fuck you. Grody grody.
5. No girl likes her nips pinched like a crab. The end.
To be continued...
No comments:
Post a Comment